Today, writing this post will be the first constructive action I’ve taken because of anger! We can’t help being angry at times, get wrapped in negative emotions that zap our energy and stress us. But how does that affect our well-being? Take these steps to get off the anger zone faster – remember, just as charcoal is refined into diamond, you are getting better!
Here’s why this anger paralysed me
Having spent the best part of today being almost paralysed by anger, I had to make a conscious effort to snap out of that “negative zone of anger”.
Was my anger justified? Hell, yes!
Having been without warm water and heating for almost two weeks, my home is uncomfortable and cold; my daughter, home on holidays told me she wished she had remained in her university accommodation because she had had enough of the cold and couldn’t have a shower.
That made me really upset as I had missed her and looked forward to spending quality family time together.
But even that paled compared to the shabby way the gas company has been treating me.
After two weeks of having a broken boiler and three half -day appointments (8.30 AM -4PM); countless phone calls, being put on hold listening to maddening music; being sent a text message, after five hours of waiting, a technician called at my home and could not repair my boiler as I was absent! I was hopping mad!!
What would you do?
Well, I don’t know how you would feel but I felt my anger was justified – I felt badly treated by the gas company.
Only this anger was making my life miserable. More miserable, in fact, than the coldness of my home and the lack of warm shower combined, as a result of the broken boiler.
As I write this I am still angry. But I took a moment, reflected on my anger and made a conscious decision, relate better, get out of that negative zone!
Here’s how to take back control from paralysing anger
I had to regain control by:
• Stepping back a moment to reflect on my feeling
• Reminding myself that the anger was counter-productive
• Acknowledging that the anger is causing me stress
• Decide to re-channel this negative emotion into something positive & constructiveI calmed down to write this. After all, anger is just another form of stress.
Anger is just another form of stress
Stress is something that is always present with us, a pest we wish would just disappear completely so we can finally just have our peace.
Only it never does. Not completely.
Always, there in one form of stress or the other – work, marital, kids, health, relationships… There is always something going on.
Sometimes, it feels like as soon as you identify something as a stressor, deal with it so that it’s no longer causing you stress another problem crops up.
I don’t have all the answers, but I really take this to heart.
” Every diamond was once a piece of charcoal “.
It’s hard to believe that the charcoal and the diamond have similar chemical components when one thinks of the value and physical appearance of both.
The diamond is beautiful, expensive, hard and reflects light, shining brightly.
Whereas, charcoal is dull, cheap and seems to absorb light and colour from its environment.
Just like anyone, given the choice of owning a piece of diamond and a piece of charcoal, I know which I would rather have!
But what differentiates the charcoal from the diamond?
One difference between a piece of charcoal is the stress and resultant refinement of the finished end-product , the diamond.
It went through trials of stress and fire that did not destroy it but instead made it stronger.
Every trial, stress or negative situation in your life right now has the potential to push you to greater positive heights or negative lows.
What will the stress or negative situation you are experiencing right now push you to achieve in your life? You are in control. You are the diamond!
Check these verses out:
But none of us has ever been able to add to our stature by worrying – Matthew 6:27
Better, we can ask God for strength and wisdom to ride out the storms of life and come out as better persons, no matter the storms we encounter.
…”Their strength is to sit still” – Isaiah 30:7